


Loose Lips & Bong Rips

by wildxwired



Series: 4/20 [4]
Category: Schitt’s Creek
Genre: 4/20, Blow Job, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Weed, post House Warming, season five
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-09-01 01:08:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20249653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildxwired/pseuds/wildxwired
Summary: The fourth time David and Patrick get high together, David learns new and interesting things about his boyfriend.





	Loose Lips & Bong Rips

**Author's Note:**

> Fourth part of my 4/20 series! One more to go 💨 
> 
> Thanks to Kiranerys42 and Xoxxblitz for betaing. Much love!

The fourth time David and Patrick get high together, David learns new and interesting things about his boyfriend. 

“What the _fuck_!”

David stumbles over the box on his way back from the garbage chute, the toes of his Uggs tripping along the ugly welcome mat in front of Patrick’s door and the suspicious package that sits on top of it. The door wobbles open, revealing a puzzled looking Patrick who’s halfway through clearing the dining table. 

“Uh, everything ok there?” He shuffles forward in his adorable pajamas, looking all kinds of new and shiny, like a single filthy word had never left his mouth before. It’s almost enough to distract David from the offending box that’s still sitting obnoxiously in his way. 

“What is this?” David demands to no one in particular, gesturing to the package like it should explain itself right now. “Where did this come from?”

Patrick pulls the door open and bends down to extract the card that peeks out from one of the folds. 

“Happy New Apartment Day, from Stevie and Twyla’s cousin who can’t be named for legal reasons,” he reads aloud and David’s face twists further with each word he hears. 

“Oh my god!”

Despite David’s protests, Patrick carries the box into the apartment and sets it on the dining table. David takes several steps back as Patrick pulls off the tape and even covers his mouth dramatically with both hands as he flips up the lids. Patrick pauses to roll his eyes. 

“Honestly, David, why would Stevie send us a box of anthrax?” 

“What if she asked for Tampax but got Twyla’s dyslexic cousin?” David notes, very matter-of-factly. 

Patrick’s head tilts as he regards David with a mix of fondness and utter befuddlement. “Okay, then why would Stevie send us Tampax?”

David huffs. “Sometimes she leaves them outside my room when she thinks I’m being difficult about something.”

As Patrick dissolves into an inevitable fit of laughter, David narrows his eyes and tromps over to the table, shouldering Patrick aside and pulling the box closer. 

“Shut up and help me with the anthrax; and if you ever do that you’ll have to learn to suck your own dick,” he bites just as pulls away several layers of bubble wrap. 

When David pulls out the slender crystal decanter, he actually gasps. 

The rough edges of the cut glass captures the warm light from the lamps, refracting rainbows across Patrick’s kitchen cabinets as David holds it aloft. He turns it slowly, admiring the clean sparkle and the curve of the neck, until he reaches the small tube and bowl that jut out from the side near the thick base. 

The realisation hits them both at once. 

“Oh my god, it’s a _bong_!” Patrick announces gleefully. “A very fancy bong. Hey, is that real crystal?”

David flicks the base lightly and raises it to his ear as Patrick eyes him with yet more momentary confusion. 

“It’s real alright. It’s actually been altered extremely well,” he explains, running his thumb over the sealing around the stem. “Which is astonishing.”

“Hey, there’s something else in here.” Patrick rummages through the shreds of bubble wrap until he uncovers the little baggie with two large nugs of weed inside. He holds it out to David triumphantly, who sets down the decanter-turned-bong with a shrug. 

“Well, let’s hope he grows weed as well as he turns pricey antiques into drug paraphernalia.”

*

It turns out that Twyla’s cousin grows weed _exceptionally well_. 

David sinks back into the couch with a happy sigh as he watches Patrick plod back from the kitchen with a bag of chips under each arm and two cups of orange juice in his hands. 

“Oh my god, my saviour!” David gushes as he reaches out towards Patrick with childish grabby hands. “I’m definitely not running off with Ted anymore.”

Patrick frowns and jabs at David’s knee, withholding the snack hoard as punishment until David whines and rolls to nuzzle into his neck with apology. Patrick caves quickly and hands over the snacks before leaning forward to deposit the drinks on the coffee table and carefully pick up the bong. 

He packs the bowl with a small bit of nug and empties a little more bottled water down the neck (because eating out of the garbage is fine but apparently tap water in a bong is gross) before pressing his lips to the opening and lighting the weed. As he breathes, the water gurgles and the thick plumes of smoke collect in the neck. He pulls the bowl free of the stem and inhales the smoke, pulling his face from the bong as the warmth spreads over his chest, holding the breath until it burns before exhaling smoothly. 

“That’s hot,” David croaks, peering out at Patrick with red rimmed eyes. 

Patrick blushes and grins dopily before tilting the bong towards David, who declines in favour of shovelling another handful of cheese puffs into his mouth. He chews happily for a moment, watching as Patrick sets the bong back on the table before settling into David’s side again. He lets Patrick steal cheese puffs, but only because he trades each one for a peck on the cheek. 

*

When David gets back from washing the cheese dust from his fingers, Patrick’s sitting cross legged at the end of the couch, staring hard at the candles in the fireplace like he’s thinking about something poignant. 

“Cheese puff for your thoughts,” David enquires, moving to stand behind the couch so he can lean above Patrick and slide his arms down his chest. 

Patrick hums contently, letting his head rest against David’s cheek as he closes his eyes. 

“I was thinking about how much you love it when I fuck you,” he mutters and David shivers as Patrick rubs against his stubble. 

“Mmm, I definitely do love that.”

David slips a hand into the collar of Patrick’s top, his cold palm pushing over warm, soft skin. Patrick sucks in a breath as David’s hand presses over his nipple. 

“You make it look really good — like, like it _feels_ good.”

Rolling the nub of Patrick’s nipple gently between his fingers, David groans, definitely on board with wherever this conversation is going. Patrick always gets so mellow when he’s high, so pliable beneath David’s hands. 

“It does feel good,” he says, slow and smooth as Patrick tilts his head back and opens his hazel eyes. David smiles. “You always make it feel so good.”

Patrick takes a breath and swallows dryly. “Yeah?”

David drops his lips to the strip of exposed skin along Patrick’s throat. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

“I want to,” Patrick says, gasping as David bites down gently. “I want to know how it feels.”

Pulling back, David blinks dumbly down at his boyfriend as his brain tries to recalibrate under the haze of his high and arousal. 

“What?”

“I want you to fuck me, David.” 

Patrick is nothing if not direct. 

David clambers over the back of the couch to drop himself clumsily next to Patrick, close enough for a strong breeze to push him completely into his lap. 

“Only if you want to,” Patrick adds as David continues to stare. David recoils. 

“What? I, I mean yes, of course. Of course I want to. I’m just...surprised. You’ve never said anything before.”

It’s true. Though David has many times shown Patrick the wonders of a prostate orgasm with his fingers during intense blowjobs, Patrick’s never expressed any interest in being fucked, just unyielding enthusiasm for fucking David. Patrick loves being rimmed, but David’s known plenty of tops who enjoyed being fingered and rimmed, so he’s never dwelled on it for too long. Fucking guys feels great, but if David has to spend the rest of his life only knowing the feeling of Patrick’s thick cock inside him and strong hand wrapped around his dick - David would still die a happy and very satisfied man. 

“I’ve always loved our sex life just the way it is,” he shrugs. 

David swallows, anxiety creeping through his shoulders. “And now?”

As if he can sense it, Patrick rubs a soothing hand over David’s shoulder. “I still love it. God, I’ve never, it’s never,” Patrick pauses his stumbling mouth and takes a moment to steady the words trying to escape. “I’ve never loved sex this much, ever, in my whole life. I love making you come, I love watching you come, you look so fucking perfect when I’m inside you and I want to feel that too.”

David can feel the heat in his cheeks and he wants to cover his face, to hide from the love and trust that’s rolling off this incredible man in waves, but Patrick is nuzzling at the top of David’s cheek with his warm button nose, making it impossible to do anything other than react to that feeling. He slides his arms around Patrick’s sides and hauls him closer, crushing their mouths together in what he hopes is an affirming kiss. 

“When?” David pulls back to whisper, lips brushing against the wet redness of Patrick’s mouth. 

Patrick shrugs. “I’m not really sure. Not right now,” he stops to slide a thumb over David’s bottom lip. “I don’t want you to think this decision has anything to do with the Ted thing tonight. It’s all me - I want this, and I want you to know that.”

“I know, I trust you,” David nods slowly. 

Brushing a few stray hairs from David’s forehead, Patrick smiles. “How about the next time we smoke?”

“Deal,” David agrees, fingers dancing over Patrick’s shoulders. 

Patrick surges forward again, pulling David into a lazy kiss that seals their agreement. When the kiss breaks, Patrick is positively glowing, so much so that David feels it start to light him up too from the lips down. He grins and chews on his lip for a second before springing up from the couch with rejuvenation. 

As Patrick turns awkwardly to see where he’s going, David throws a wink over his shoulder. “Hey, wanna see my room? My parents won’t be home for hours.”

Patrick grins wickedly and throws himself to his feet. 

*

David follows the streak of lube that drips over Patrick’s exposed pink hole eagerly with his tongue. Above him, face hidden in the pillow clutched between his hands, Patrick whines and bounces slightly on his folded knees. David spears his tongue quickly in and out in shallow thrusts, several times in quick succession before lapping mouthfuls of spit and lube soothingly over the teased hole. 

Arching and curving his spine back and forth, all Patrick can do is grip helplessly to the pillow and allow it to swallow his sounds of desperation whilst he thrusts uselessly against the sheets. 

When Patrick finally manages to shove a hand between his dick and the bed, David withdraws his tongue from its delicious torture on Patrick’s ass. Patrick gasps in frustration and thrusts back, demanding and needy. 

“Wha—” Patrick breathes, confused. “Where are you? I was close.”

David soothes a hand up Patrick’s spine and drops a kiss at its base, making Patrick shiver beneath him. 

“Turn over,” David instructs, hands moving to pet at Patrick’s hip. “I wanna see your face.”

With a huff Patrick flips himself onto his back, falling back into his elbows until he’s staring down as David settles again between his legs. David can’t stop himself from grinning at the sight of his usually _so professional_ boyfriend looking so pulled apart, hair a mess and chest reddened with his arousal. His eyes are lidded heavily under the haze of intoxication and pleasure, lips red from gnawing on them, cheeks flushed under David’s regard. 

Finally, Patrick whines, thrusting his hips softly in hopes David will take some pity on him. David can feel his mouth filling again with saliva, literally watering at the sight of Patrick so desperate for his touch. 

“Please,” Patrick begs before gasping and letting himself drop completely onto his back. “Fuck, I wanna come.”

David licks his lips, unable to resist the lure of Patrick’s wanting any longer, and takes Patrick down in one. Patrick hisses like the relief is brutal, hands scrabbling for purchase on David’s shoulder and head. David pulls off and sinks down again until lips meet the taut skin stretched like a pale undisturbed river over Patrick’s pubic bone. He does this over and over again, alternating rhythm, speed, and pressure until Patrick’s thighs are shaking and his curses get closer together. 

Just as Patrick’s about to lose himself in a litany of profanity (as he always does just as he’s about to come), David pulls back completely. 

“I didn’t want you to come until I was inside you,” David explains as Patrick flares down at him, rubbing the pad of his thumb over Patrick’s exposed hole. 

Patrick moans and raises his knees to his chest, revealing himself further as his grips beneath his thighs and pulls. 

“Fuck, get inside me, then — just, fuck _David_, I need to come.”

David chokes. He doesn’t need prompting twice. With a fresh coat of lube poured over his fingers, he inserts his index finger smoothly into Patrick’s hole. It accepts him easily, as it has many times before, and Patrick’s cock twitches as the familiar sensation fills him. 

Patrick thrusts down greedily. “More, come on, fuck — do it _properly_.”

The flash in David’s eyes is excited and wild as he eagerly withdraws the finger and pushes two inside instead, smooth and fast as he curls them upwards. Above him Patrick gasps, throwing his head further back into the pillow as David’s thrusting fingers pull countless moans from deep within his chest. 

“Yes,” Patrick breathes just before David pulls out to growl, “I’ll show you properly.”

Pulling back onto his knees, David grabs firmly at Patrick’s thighs and hoists his hips up, resting Patrick from the waist down against David’s legs. With Patrick’s own legs still pulled to his chest, his cock and hole are both within licking distance, and David drops his head to do just that, mouthing sloppily over the head of Patrick’s cock as he pushes two fingers into his hole. Patrick shouts softly with surprise, but his body follows obediently, hands finding purchase is David’s hair once more. 

With his free arm pinned over Patrick’s hips, David keeps him trapped between the sucking sensation over his mouth over Patrick’s cock and the fullness of his thrusting fingers into Patrick’s hole. He sets up a punishing pace, thrusting his fingertips against Patrick’s prostate as he hollows his cheeks and sucks a tight ring around Patrick’s erection. 

This time as Patrick gets close, he pulls sharply at David’s hair, keeping him in place. 

“Don’t you dare stop,” he growls and David moans at the stingy little zings that ripple through his scalp, making his own erection leak. 

Patrick’s whole body goes boneless when he comes, legs melting away from his chest to dangle lifelessly around David’s sides as he heaves in big gulps of air. 

Carefully, David withdraws his fingers and lets his lips smear through one more streak of come on Patrick’s stomach before he shuffles back, pouring Patrick’s body back onto the mattress. 

“I’m fucking dead,” Patrick croaks, eyes barely able to open.

“Properly dead?” David mocks and Patrick grins lazily and nods. 

“Properly dead,” he confirms as reaches for David’s cock, which is just a fraction too far from his grasp. He huffs and David chuckles fondly. 

“You don’t have to, I can leave it,” he says and Patrick flaps a hand at him. “You look exhausted.”

Patrick hums in agreement. “I know, but you should come on me.”

David grins and leans down over Patrick so he can lick his way into Patrick’s warm mouth and kiss him with eager tenderness. He wraps a hand around his cock and starts to stroke himself steadily, groaning into Patrick’s mouth. 

“I can’t wait to have you fuck me,” Patrick whispers and David instantly groans at the thought. Patrick runs his fingertips over David’s shoulders, feathering light touches over the skin as David shudders. “I can’t wait to have you inside me.”

“Fuck — Patrick.”

“Your cock feels so good in my hand and my throat, I know it’s going to feel even better when it’s filling me up,” he continues, hands moving up and down David’s arms as he jerks himself quicker, forehead pressed to Patrick’s chin. “God, I bet even the stretching feels good, just knowing your fucking perfect cock is in me, making us both come, fuck I can’t wait to have your come dripping out of me. Will you clean it up for me? Will you lick it out of me like I do to you?”

David nods desperately. “Yeah, fuck, _yes_! Anything, I’ll do anything.”

Patrick runs his fingers through the damp hair at the back of David’s neck, blunt nails scratching at the short hairs. He moves carefully until he kiss David’s shoulder gently. 

“Come for me then,” he murmurs before biting down on the soft skin of David’s shoulder. 

David shudders and comes, stroking himself through his orgasm as thick ropes of comes spurt to join the mess on Patrick’s stomach and chest. He collapses onto Patrick gracelessly, dropping his own sex damp body against the grossness on Patrick’s skin. He grimaces but is too blissed out to move. 

“Oh my god,” David whispers, voice wrecked with exhaustion. Beneath him, Patrick laughs and pets at his hair. 

“I know,” he breathes back, letting David’s limbs dissolve around him. 

“We need to shower,” David mumbles into Patrick’s chest, too busy basking in the ache of having his orgasm ripped violently from him to make any real effort at moving. 

“Not yet,” Patrick yawns. “Soon.”

“But we’re going to wake up gross,” David insists with zero conviction, but Patrick simply continues to thread his fingers gently through David’s hair. 

“Too tired to care,” he hums sleepily. 

“Nuurgh,” David finally concedes, giving in and snuggling his face beneath Patrick’s chin. 

“I’ll clean us later.”

“Deal.”

Patrick sighs happily and kisses David’s temple, very much looking forward to the next time they get high together.

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up on tumblr: wildxwired


End file.
